Friday, November 14, 2008
it was like an All Souls day for me today because on the 13th was the anniversary of my grandmother's death. so decided to visit her today because all family members are either on holiday, no class, retirement or on leave.
i dread waking up this morning and i remember the scene where i use my bolster to cover my face from the shinning sun that is shinning my ass off. it was 9.30a.m.
woke up to the smell of freshly make breads and potatoes. and also to the fresh scent of my house's floor cleaner. my mum have obviously woke up early again to clean the house. and after all the fright that she got from yesterday, she still carry out her duty as a mother. if it was for me to be in her shoes, i would cried my heads and prolly my heart out till late at night and sleep till people are having their dinner the next day.
she is a mother and a dad to me.
i love her a lot but my ways of showing her that stinks. lolx! i dun care la~ as long as i know she loves me ngok ngok...

i nearly cried and upset my family members when i saw the sight of my grandma's unattended graveyard. her small place where she will be "there" for eternity. as in her earthly body.
i surely won't want my small space to be like hers, when i die, all weeds and grass all over my head, a small unsightly don't know what tree on top of me, using that to identify me... i would love to be cremated. my grandma had objected to cremation and some one just wouldn't bury her on nicer place. haix.
we bought a big nice bunch of yellow and white
chrysanthemum for her and even brought a small pot to place the flower in it. hope she will love it and she could get that flower where she is now.
and i saw a few dogs undo their stomach filling on some other people's unattended graveyard.
i was so speechless and just kept going "eeee...eeee...eeee...eeee....." i bet all the souls there are agitated with my reaction but actually i feel like crying and mourning for all of them.
this makes me feel so right about cremation. i want to be let off to the seas. i love water so let my parts of earthly body rest with calming waters.^^

then we went to buy somethings and i ate a very cute ice cream which remind me of Japan!!!

oishii neh~~
i miss you~~~


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