why is it that....

why is it that i feel all people around me are growing up and maturing and me, feels like i am still what i am ten years ago?! still as lazy as an old cow.. still as immature like a baby cat..
people all around me are having problems that i love to classify them as adult problem and here i am having to frust over problems that i had and used to faced during secondary school.... not to say that i love to have problems la~ and here i am giving them advice like i am so kind of an experience professional, when i am not even in their kind of shoes before!! prolly my kind of situation is damn differ from theirs la~ almost same..
to tell the truth, i cant stop blogging about friends that i met during National Service. don't get me wrong.. i hate that service, very very very much!! but i love my friends there very very very much too~!! i missed all those that had stop contacting me even though i tried ring them up every now and then. friends that are not from KL seems to be missing.. not all, some.. and those that i really miss!!
friends that i am having now, i don't really call them as friends..to some, they are special to me and to the rest, i don't bloody care that you are not there in class..it does not even matter now.. that i have seen through all of you. not as good as i expected and am so sorry that i knew all of those.
if i were to choose, i want to be stuck at that bloody service that always have rumors about having ghost around.

to Darlyn dear..
i really misses you alot!! i know that you are going through a lot but i hope that you will always turn to me when you feel like there is no hope, well, turning to God for help and hearing that from me is like seeing the blue moon but please, do turn to Him.
do not be so sad of all that. loving some one who is not returning it to you is always saddening, but what a to do..
try your best to get him back is all that i would say to you because i would not want to see you sad my dear!!
it is always fate that two becomes one, that is what i always believe in and yes..love is blind!
anyway... i really do hope that i can be there for you now... there as in flesh and blood.. to lend you my not so nice shoulder if you ever need it and obviously you do...^^
i miss you and love you a lot!!! to see you this sad, i feel sad too...
chill babe~ the worst case scenerio, be like me... single for life!! lolx!!

why is it that i feel so worthless and hopeless in my studies, to the fact that all my friends are all doing fine!!
my mum always say that i am not stupid but just plain lazy... i rather be stupid than being plain lazy!!
changing my laziness to be more hardworking always feel like it will cost my life!! i just can't stand to be in the house whole day being a nerd and staring at the books and the books will be reading me instead!!
is it that one of the reason of my poor academic acheivements?
i bet it is!! lolx!!
i will try to change from being a potato couch to be a potato in sack!! huahahahhahaha~~ i created that.. there is no such thing as potato in sack!! lolx!!

why is it that i am getting used to being envious towards people who can blog legally about their boyfriend and people having to found their better half!!?
i always comfort myself by telling myself that if i have more patience, i will find my very own better half...
i am getting more and more lonely now.. and have this dumb thought that i will be andartu for life!! lolx!!
50% of me says that that is good.. i could work my own and spend my own without any commitment.. i am so not a commitment person.
50% of me says that i am damn lonely and i can't live without me having the effort to at least try to find my better half. some one said.." if you aren't planing to get married, who is going to "fix" you up when you die?"
that is so TRUE!
=.= lame and cheezy as it is... as true as it can be too...
some people say that i am desperate..
well, i am not. just that my hormone is growing and the feeling of being love and loving someone is also on the verge of blowing out just to anyone that crosses my path!! lolx!!
so guys, be careful!! huahahha

why is it that guys cant stick to one!!!???
why is it that handsome guys usually goes with ugly girls??!!